Uttering the D Word

Uttering the D word in a very serious way is the scariest thing that can happen in a marriage. Making the choice to dissolve a union, a history, a foundation, a family is terrifying. My week has been a whirlwind that began with the D conversation {I can’t even bring myself to type that word}, calls for attorneys’ numbers, a realization of what it really means to co-parent and share custody, a fear of being away from our kids 50% of the time, an apology, an attempt to reconcile, and a day of confusion on my part as I try to figure out what my future looks like. My 31st birthday is in a few days and I am determined to be happy for my next 30 years – as Time McGraw says. Happy is my kids not growing up in a broken home, but happy is also me finding myself and being able to be who I want to be. I’m just not certain those two things can exist in the same reality. As a mom, my default reaction is to do what’s best for my kids, which on the surface seems to be keeping the family together, but if I’m a better mom – a happier person – without being in this marriage, is that what’s really best for them or is that me being selfish?? See I told you I was confused. So I have no conclusion, no finale, no The End yet. I’m still in the middle of the muck and messiness that is a bent, but not completely broken, marriage.

Wordless Wednesday this week is simply some marriage quotes I came across on Pinterest, because I’m not giving up on the institution as a whole.

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11 comments on “Uttering the D Word

  1. The D word is a hard one, that is for sure. I truly hope you find the answers you are looking for. I’m sure you’ll make the best decision for you and your family. Keep your chin up.

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  3. Oh, Elizabeth, marriage is hard as #@%$. I have been divorced, and I know it was the right decision for me. I am married to my second husband now, and we have to work our assess off to keep things healthy. It is for NOBODY else to say which marriage is worth fighting for and which is worth walking away from. It is such a hard choice. I know you will make the right one, whatever that looks like. Hugs to you!

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  5. Great and true quotes. Marriage is indeed hard work and it takes two to make it work. It’s not easy. The D word came to me with a 2 year old in tow. But looking back 10+ years later, it was the best decision for me and my child because we went into my second marriage stronger and wiser than before. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your family.

  6. Wonderful quotes, and yes, marriage is a lot harder than most think going in, but it is so worth the struggle if you do. Good luck on your journey and I hope you find the path that is best for all of your family.

  7. What a brave post. I’m sure you’re vocalizing what so, so many women struggle with. I read once that it helps to commit to staying together for a fixed amount of time (3 months, 6 months, whatever) and spend that time really focused on your relationship. It takes off the pressure of having to figure it all right now. And if at the end of that period, you still need to walk away, you can feel confident that you gave it your best. Hugs to you.

  8. Marriage is hard and the hardest part is it takes both people working every day, day after day, to make it work. It works best if both people are trying to put the other one first. If just one is working, if the other gives up or moves on, then it’s really hard. I like your inspirational quotes. I chose the D word once, with a 4yo and it was HARD. But things are better now, in a new life, still hard but finally solid and strong.

  9. Loved seeing these quotes and have to agree marriage is truly not easy and totally has its moments. I am truly hoping that for whatever reason you and your husband are having any problems that you can work them out and not have to utter and worry about the “D” word. And thank you also for sharing and linking up today at the Mommy Blog Hoppers with us.

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